STUDENT A

In the 6 months that I've been here now, I haven't really had thoughts of: "oh, those poor poor children" or "what sad cases there are at this school!". People have said to me that they couldn't do what I do because it would be too confronting to see these children everyday "struggling" and being those "unfortunate children". I've had so many labels of hopelessness attached to the children and have been told "what a great thing you're doing here, helping them get better."

Well I've got a different view: these children are LIVING and ENJOYING LIFE and LAUGHING and PLAYING and SOCIALISING. I come to school because I LOVE seeing all of these children PARTICIPATE and HAVING FUN. They're not "those poor children". You don't need to be a strong person if you see the ability, and not the disability. The children are happy, life-loving and similarly sporadically annoying as their non-impaired peers. I'm not a "blessed person" as someone once told me. I'm just doing my job.

Now don't take it the wrong way. It's not like I don't care about the children. I just don't see it as extra brownie points for social status, or taking a moral high-ground by working daily with these children. I rarely feel hopeless for the children.

Until today.

Student A is student A becuase he's one of the smartest in his class. He's enthusiastic, has a beautiful smile, he's really soft spoken and he tries so hard during his therapy. He's your typical A-Grade student. Student A also has a degenerative condition which won't be named in this blog post. I didn't know what his official diagnosis was because that information just wasn't available. Until now, I've been treating him a bit blindly based on the minimal information that I know and the vague information that I've been given by the staff at the school. Everyone seems to be under the impression that because I'm the resident "expert", I know EVERYTHING. It is for this reason that I don't get told much about the child because I am an "expert" and therefore know everything about the child just by looking at them. Yeah right.

Recently, we were sent a large bundle of medical reports by some visiting overseas doctors from one year previous. I found the report for Student A and discovered his official diagnosis. At first, this didn't mean much to me as my knowledge of the condition didn't reach very far. Being a good student myself, I looked it up when I got home. I was determined to understand the condition's ins and outs so I knew what I was dealing with. I felt that this would also allow me to answer Student A's mother's persistent questioning about whether her child will get better or what the future is like for him. I don't know...go ask a doctor.

Unfortunately, what I read was not what I wanted to hear. I saw the words "degenerative", "gradual decline with age", "gradual loss of mobility and function", "associated neural complications", "behavioural change". Lastly, I read: "child needs regular and consistent contact with neurologist to ensure child is appropriately managed". Where on earth am I going to find a neurologist when I only discovered TODAY that there are 10 paediatricians in Fiji...right across the road from the school!!!

The parent of the child also tends to avoid therapy and usually has brilliantly fabricated reasons as to why he can't attend. Either that or he just happens to be late every Thursday when he's been scheduled for his therapy. It doesn't help his cause. Overprotection, it seems, is exposure to danger.

Last year, he was walking. Now he needs to be hauled into a standing position from his wheelchair. Mum's not helping and his condition makes him fatter day by day. He's following the course of my text book and I don't like where it's headed. From here, according to my text book, it only gets worse.

Helplessness. Sorrow. It's overwhelming and I feel like breaking down in tears. What on earth am I doing to Student A that will really make a difference? My incomplete Allied Health team is starting to reveal its limitations and the lack of connection between the health system and the education system is starting to show its cracks.

All I know is to keep doing what I'm doing and attempt to make some sort of contact with the health system. Right now it just seems a bit too much, all because a text book case has materialised itself in the form of Student A.